youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
false alarm, still single
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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