he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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