When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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