It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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