Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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