Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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