please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize