so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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