I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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