at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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