Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize