theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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