if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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