UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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