sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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