dude i'm inner monologue high
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
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Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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