I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize