is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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