i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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