You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize