This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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