No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
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The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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