i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
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