Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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