should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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