Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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