And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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