You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
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You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize