Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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