the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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