I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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