Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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