what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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