I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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