It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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