can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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