Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
now i know why i became what i already was.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize