I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize