I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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