one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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