Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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