Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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