Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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