a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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