I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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