She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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