Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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