she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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