i think my mom watched the whole time
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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