I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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